What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal Author: John Gottman Ph.D. | Language: English | ISBN:
1451608489 | Format: EPUB
What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal Description
Review
“In an easy-to-understand format full of anecdotes, imaginary dialogues, and analogies to game theory, Gottman explains lack of trust in a relationship … The practical tools to evaluate current relationships and step-by-step methods for avoiding betrayal, repairing relationships heading toward crisis, or healing a relationship after a crisis will be useful to couples who want to look honestly at healing chronic hurts and improving the state of their relationship, and are ready for a system to help them.”—
Publishers Weekly"Instructional and enlightening..."—
Kirkus ReviewsAbout the Author
John Gottman, PhD has written numerous academic articles and is the author or coauthor of forty books, including the bestselling
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. His breakthrough research on marriage and parenting that has earned him numerous major awards, including four National Institute of Mental Health Research Scientist Awards. Currently a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington, Gottman lives on Orcas Island, Washington.
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- Paperback: 304 pages
- Publisher: Simon & Schuster; Reprint edition (September 10, 2013)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1451608489
- ISBN-13: 978-1451608489
- Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.6 x 0.8 inches
- Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
While writing mine HOME FINANCES for COUPLES. Resolve Money Problems in Marriage and Learn Easy Steps to Manage your Family Budget I've read several relationship books, this one is in TOP 3. Here is my review:
Loving partnership gives us wonderful gifts that make life worth living: a sense of purpose, greater health and wealth, and, of course, loving care and nurturance. We all desire to have it. But, how to make it last for decades?
"What Makes Love Last" is very different from any other relationship book I've read before. Dr. Gootman knows his subject in depth.
POSITIVE IMPRESSIONS
- Conclusions and recommendations are based on the objective data from scientific studies
- Number of useful assessment metrics and tests (measure trust metric, accessing sex and romance, "is this a real thing" quiz, etc)
- A perfect balance between sientific and general writing style.
- Lots of valuable advice (I took about 3 pages of notes)
SOME VALUABLE NOTES
- The Zeigarnik effect about unresolved issues (people remember uncompleted or interrupted tasks better than completed tasks)
- Negative comparisons lead to betrayal
- Relationship killers are founded on two building blocks: deception (not revealing your true needs to avoid unpleasent conflict) and a yearning for emotional connection thats seems unavailable from the partner
- Attunement : ability to understand each other at a deep level and lovingly express that knowledge to each other
- Not to give advice unless asked.
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