I Kissed Dating Goodbye Author: Visit Amazon's Joshua Harris Page | Language: English | ISBN:
159052246X | Format: EPUB
I Kissed Dating Goodbye Description
- Hardcover: 221 pages
- Publisher: Multnomah Publishing; Updated edition (2003)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 159052246X
- ISBN-13: 978-1590522462
- Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.4 x 0.8 inches
- Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces
I've never reviewed anything on Amazon.com before. But after reading this book and reviewing some of the comments, I had to say something.
First on the book... I think it is an amazing insight into dating in our culture. The book isn't as much about not dating as it is about realizing the opportunity you have as a single person to work for God. He's basically arguing that for the amount of time and energy we put into worrying about the person we just met at the bar last night, we have an even better opportunity to use that energy work for and bless God.
He's not saying anyone can't date. Rather, he's questioning the motivations we have behind dating and asking people to really be honest with themselves. One of the reviews posted here on Amazon said something to the effect that "Harris is wrong, I need to date to learn more about relationships and the opposite sex." Got news for you, this is the exact reason Harris says you shouldn't be dating. If you view dating in and of itself as a reason to improve your own "dating skills", you're using the other person in the relationship. In some of the reviews people are basically saying, "Hey, I need to date that way when I meet the right person I'll be ready!" Again, this is selfish and speaks to many of Harris's points about how we use people to refine our opinions of the opposite sex. It's as if we can take a peice of each person we've dated in the past and we'll combine them into the perfect spouse!
I think the reason this book sparks so much debate is because it really calls some people out in terms of their own dating lives.
First of all, when I first picked up this book, I couldn't believe that a twenty-something-year-old SINGLE guy wrote this book. It was a two-way shock. One, I couldn't believe that someone who was so young with little experience was bold enough to publish a book about dating and relationships. Then after reading this book, I was shocked again, but this time, at the wisdom this guy had at such a young age. But I know that many times age means nothing when it comes to wisdom.
Since there are so many interpretations about this book, I won't even attempt to defend this book. That would be Joshua's part. I'll share what I got out of this book, though.
This book didn't tell me to stop dating - I know, it's contrary to its title. What I learned from this book is to have a different approach and attitude about dating. Before the book, I thought that in order for me to find my life partner, I'd have to date around. The scenario would go like this: If there's a guy that I was interested in, I'd go on a date with him and if we liked each other, we'd enter into a more serious relationship and then see how we fit. If we're not a good fit, we end the relationship and then when I meet a new guy that would interest me, another dating cycle would begin.
Here's the book's approach to dating: When I find someone I'm interested in, rather than going on a date with him (so rather than jumping into a romantic relationship right away), I'd develop a good friendship with him first. If you think you can't get to know someone by just being their friend, you haven't experienced good friendship. The book explains that this is a healthier way to get to know someone (that is a potential spouse) without the 'romantic' pressure and confusion.
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